Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
