Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
