We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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