My friends, they love my intelligence
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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