forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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