you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
