That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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