i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
