I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i think my mom watched the whole time
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
