so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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