sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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