are you so shy because you have an std?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
