Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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