is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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