i already hear my dad disowning me
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
