he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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