He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
