the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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