So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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