Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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