As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
