you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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