She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
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If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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