Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize