Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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