I'm jealous of your bromance
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
