Already got asked if we're dating
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
