she was so not down for the gang bang
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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