dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
