Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize