"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I will pee on everything he values.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
