I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
