dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
