It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
