oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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