My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
