Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I believe in your delicious
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
