You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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