and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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