ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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