I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i need some magic done to my vagina
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
