Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
