you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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