We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
