the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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