This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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