This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
