You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
