glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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