dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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