yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
