Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
