GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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