I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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