Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize