Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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