we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
