The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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